Alternian Alternates
by FlintisTrash
Summary: Leo meets a strange girl while playing a new app on a computer the Hepheastus cabin made called Pesterchum. After a while of exchanging things, the seven and everybody else has to realize: An old enemy is still alive, and their new friends weren't what they expected. Especially the apocalypse. (Up for adoption, I lost interest in writing this, sorry.)
1. Quick Intro

Woooooo here we first ever story this is gonna suck lol.

Anyways, I'm just gonna give a bit more of an explanation. So basically stuff happens and there's a few AUs. Some names I had to shorten and look weird, and I would appreciate if you didn't judge me :3

I'm also not going by the GCAT tag rule, sorry. It was going to take me too long.

But anyways, i'm working on the first chapter and I hope it ends up well. I might get a bit lazy while writing it or accidentally typing it. So yeah.

That's all I have for now. I''ll put the first chapter in a bit.

( i'm also way too lazy to fix the chapter names right now. I might do it later. Idk)


	2. Chapter 1

Leo could say he was having a peculiar day.

He was testing out some applications on a new computer he and the other hephaestus kids had managed to make, and he was just testing out random things. He had managed to come across something called Pesterchum. He had decided to just test it out.

Right after he had made his username and color, he had instantly gotten somebody to talk to him.

The thing was, he didn't know who this person is.

 **Engage Homestuck Mode.**

You engage Homestuck Mode and click on the person's Username.

 _fruitFluent [FF] Has begun trolling buildermanCaptian [BC]_

FF: Hey Lii~

FF: What's up?~

BC: umm

BC: no offense, but who are you?

FF: Dang it~

FF: Did I get the wrong tag again?~

BC: Yeah I think you did

BC: Sorry.

FF: No, sorry for wasting your time.~

BC: Don't worry. I just got this thing anyway.

FF: You did?~

BC: Yeah. Why do you type in Olive anyways?

FF: It's my blood color.~

BC: Is it?

FF: Yeah! What's yours?~

BC: umm red

FF: Cool! Why do you type in Bronze, though? Shouldn't you do your blood color? You might offend somebody.~

BC: well I was just testing out with it.

FF: People are sensitive.~

FF: Wait..~

BC: What?

FF: Are you from Beforus or something?~

BC: Umm yeah

FF: Ah, well that explains it.~

FF: Anyways, my friend is calling me.~

BC: Uhhh okay

 _fruitFluent [FF] Has ceased trolling buildermanCaptian [BC]_

 **Resist to run over to the big house in panic.**

You Fail to resist to run over to the big house in panic.

Rachel, Chiron and Jason are sitting there, relaxing.

Leo: Guysvuysguysguysguysguys

Chiron: ( sitting up in wheelchair ) What, Leo?

Leo: I was playing with a little communicating / texting app and I ran into a creepy girl with olive-colored blood.

Rachel: Did you say Olive?

Jason: Creepy?

Leo: yes, and maybe. It seemed like she was actually trying to be nice, but then stuff happened and it seemed like she was making stuff up.

Rachel: Can you try to get another conversation with her?

Leo: I can try.

 **Leo: Put the computer down.**

You set the computer down and open up the conversation with Fruitgirl. The app tends to work without Wi-Fi.

 _buildermanCaptian [BC] had begun pestering fruitFluent [FF]_

BC: Umm hey are you there

FF: Yes, i'm here~

FF: Did you want to say something?~

BC: yeah

Rachel: Ask her where she is!

BC: Where are you?

FF: Camp Rainbow-Blood, where the Hemospectrum is ignored! Currently we're visiting a cool planet, our director says everybody there will be cool. And They all have mutant red blood!~

Jason: okay I see what you mean that is creepy.

BC: Really?

FF: Yeah! Can you believe it? It's like, called Camp Half-Blood or something. I hope they're not as vicious, though.

 **Everybody but Chiron: Panic**

You are now Chiron and you are amazed this weird girl knows how to get to camp half-blood.

Leo, Jason and Rachel are Panicking and Piper suddenly walks in.

Piper: Woah what's going on here

Leo: A GIRL WITH CREEPY OLIVE BLOOD THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT A DRYAD IS COMING TO CAMP HALF BLOOD WITH WHO KNOWS HOW MANY PEOPLE.

Jason: We might be overreacting though.

Rachel: Hey Piper, do you want to try?

Piper: Sure..

 **Be Piper**

You are now Piper.

BC: Hey! I'm a friend of Builders and I just wanted to say hi :D

FF: Hello!~

FF: What's your name, by the way?~

BC: Piper

FF: No way.

BC: What?

FF: My name is Pypirr.

BC: What?!

FF: This is either a coincidence or i'm an alternate version of you.

BC: Alternate? How?

FF: It happened once a long time ago, I'll tell you the story.

FF: We once had a Mustardblood by the name of Mikale Varews at camp. He was a psionic, of course. But he had ran into somebody that wasn't alternian. He brought a handful of other people. They never came back.

BC: Mikale Varews as in Michael Varus?

FF: Yeah.

BC: Oh god.

BC: How many of you are there? Believe it or not, i'm at Camp Half-Blood myself.

FF: A lot. Can you please tell them to not attack us?

BC: I'll try to tell them.

FF: Thank you so much!

 **Piper: Be Pypirr**

You can't be Piper because you are now Pirzee.

( To Be Continued )


	3. Chapter 2

**Piper: Be Pypirr**

You can't be Piper because you are now Pirzee.

 **Who's Pirzee?**

He's Troll Percy Jackson, basically.

But anyways, we are now on Meteor Argo Three, headed towards earth in about two days maximum or five hours minimum. You know because your Matesprite told you so.

Currently she is not here, and not do you know where Hoofbeast is.

 **Pirzee: Check sylladex.**

Pirzee is surprised he finally memorized the name, because he's awfully jumpy and has a hard time reading.

Let's see. Some blue cookies recipe one of your friends got from an unnamed source. Blackjack. Your pen. Your husktop.-

-did you say Blackjack? Isn't that his Lusus?

You assure yourself the winged hoofbeast is perfectly fine. How you managed to squeeze him in though, you have no idea. Luck, you guess.

Back to seeing what you had. Some fiduspawn cards you were about to give your relative, Tiesun ( because for some reason he loves the stupid game. Though you think it's kinda cute. ), a notebook full of journal logs You managed to write, some of Aella's food (she's kinda picky, but you're kind enough to give her some. She's also Tiesun's Lusus.), and that's about it. Everything else is littered around your respiteblock.

 **Pirzee: Leave the room**.

You leave the room only to run into somebody.

She has ragged black hair, as if she was just in a fight. She also has face paint, imitating a knight's helmet. She is wearing grey armor with the fur of her dead Lusus, a boar around her neck. She is gently splattered in gold and deep purple blood, and he wears boots made out of her old Lusus, too.

?: Pirzee. Where's Liiowe.

Pirzee: I'm gonna be honest here but I haven't seen him, Klariz- \ | /

Klariz: WHERE THE GOG IS HE?

Pirzee: Geez, chill out with the soberness, will you? How much slime have you had? \ | /

Klariz:...Enough.

Pirzee: Well, if I was Liiowe, i'd guess he was outside ready to make everything flammable. \ | /

Klariz: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH (storming away)

You are sure she is in need for some pies.

 **Pirzee: be Klariz.**

We''ll move onto Klariz the future subjugglator later. By the way, she's Troll Clarisse LaRue.

 **Pirzee: Continue exploring.**

You walk into a room decorated grey (from the safety of the emperor), but below is a colorful carpet, and brown sand decorated the bottom.

This is the training arena.

There are lights everywhere so everybody can see. Sure, you can see in the dark, but light is necessary sometimes.

You see Jayzon, Your Moirail, choosing the next person to strife with.

Pirzee: Hey Jayzon! Wait! I wanna try! \ | /

Being his Moirail gives you a free shortcut. Everybody around him groans.

Jayzon: Z Okay, c'mon. I think i've had enough practice to beat you this time. Z

Pirzee: Try all you want. I'll still beat you. \ | /

 **Pirzee: STRIFE!**

You are now Klariz Lareuw.

What's up with these names anyway? You ask.

The Author assures you she has to make them as troll-sounding as possible. She can't just call them Troll Annabeth or something. Oh, Annabeth's name sounds a bit bad. But hey. Blame Hussie, not her.

You realize Pirzee was about to strife and you had given no command to switch.

 **Klariz: Be Pirzee.**

Klariz chuckles and assures you you were probably wanting to see what she needed Troll Leo Valdez for.

Speaking of which, Pirzee is right. He is at the front, looking out from the grey tinted glass that covered the deck so nobody magically suffocated.

 **Klariz: Gladly greet Liiowe and give him a hug like he's an old friend.**

You do the exact opposite.

To be exact, the storm in, slam the door open, charge over to Liiowe and slam his head against the floor for about three seconds.

Liiowe: Ow.

You unchapchalouge your broken strife specibus, Your psionic spear and shove it in his face. You realize he's in his regular t-shirt, baggy grey shorts, a rustblood's symbol on his chest, and he's barefoot.

Klariz: FIX IT

Liiowe: Hello to you too..!

He examines the spear encrusted in purple, now split into two.

Liiowe: Woah. Who did this?

Klariz: That stupid excuse for a Kismesis.

Liiowe: Aww, dang it. I gotta tell Kohner and Travys to be a bit more careful. Why don't you get an auspistice?

Klariz: BECAUSE-...-You have a point.

Liiowe: Make sure you make a good choice. I'd say go for Pypirr or something. Maybe even get Travys to do it. It's just Kohner You gotta look about for.

Klariz: I'M NOT STUPID, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING. JUST FIX IT NOW.

Liiowe: Okay okay, geez.

 **Liiowe: Spend the rest of the day to fix her spear.**

No.

Instead, you just give her an extra.

You hand it to her, and she grins.

 **Liiowe: Check Sylladex.**

You don't need to.

Currently you're back at the strife. Pirzee keeps attempting to swipe Jazon off his feet, but he's deflecting it by attempting to hack as his back.

Pirzee finally jumps up and collides with Jayzon, pinning him until he just misses Pirzee's shoulder. Jayzon kicks him off, sending him spiraling in the sand.

There was more sword clashing as Pirzee jumps up. But to be honest, we don't really want to read an entire fight. If you do, sorry.

Psyche.

 **Be somebody.**

You are now Troll Chiron.

Of course, you don't remember your name. And you don't think you favored it that much. But alas, you are a Jadeblood nicknamed Hoofbeast. You were injured at your waist leaving your legs nonfunctional, and then you asked for help and managed to get a hoofbeast lower half you sometimes find difficulty using, but you manage.

You are now looking out, and surprisingly you see two specks of blue.

That is Neptune and Uranus, of course. You have awesome eyesight and knowledge of The Milky Way.

You pull the lever for the speed option. You feel bad if you are injuring anybody by going so fast, but hey. Alternians are crazy.

 **Hoofbeast: Injure little people.**

You injure the tall ones instead, as the little ones just crouch.

Wait, you meant very few people? Should've clarified, friend.

Pirzee and Jayzon pause the battle and do a backflip and pirouette, hugging the wall as the meteor speeds up. More people join them, because who doesn't like the wall?

 **Finally be Pypirr.**

You are finally Pypirr Mcleen.

The story so far might not have shown It, but she notified the real Piper McLean She is currently speeding towards earth at who knows how many miles per hour.

But yeah. Everybody would Be arrested it these guys were humans. But you're trolls.

You are currently in a room sustaining Hoofbeast's Lusus, the mother grub and Jayzon's Lusus (WHO HAD AMAZINGLY MANAGED TO FIT IN AN ENORMOUS TANK THAT TOOK FOREVER TO MAKE.), Tempest, or Gl'bgolyb.

 **Pypirr: Feed Tempest a Pumpkin.**

What Pumpkin?

 **Pypirr: Feed it something.**

Hell no are you feeding that thing. It's been fed so much it's full, and you don't want to see it fed.

Besides, it's Pirzee's job. His ancestor wasn't called Orphaner Poseidon for no reason.

 **Pypirr: Do a perfect pirouette and jump in Tempest's Tank.**

Pypirr has decided you are a complete retard and to go get a better sense of humor. That's called possible suicide.

 **Pypirr: Look out window.**

Finally, something reasonable.

You look out the window. Lots off those bright twinkly tiny things are in the midst of the night sky.

You turn your head, only to see two objects flash by. Then you see one with that looks like a ring surrounding it, and a really huge one. There is a much smaller rust red one that Liiowe and Nizzah would've become the gods of in no time, and then you see a brown, green and blue one surrounded by white patches.

You stop and realize that's Earth.

Piper is down there.

Hello!

Please leave a review. It gives me motivation and i'd really appreciate it! I'd also love to answer some questions if you have any :3

Flint: Dissapearify

You dissapearify.


End file.
